Change Yourself

My last shed tears

one of the + point in having an unpopular blog is that you can actually write and post whatever you want without having to worry about anything.is simply expressing myself. I dont have to worry about getting ISAed , i dont have to worry about offending people and i dont have to worry about YOU.

most of us have alot of unforgetful memories throughout our life, one of my thats still vivid in my memory is my last shed tears up today. Well it happened quite some time ago while i still wore white pants to school.

whats the reason i shed my tears ? is love of course, i mean what else can really make a boy cry if not because of love ? well back then as who I am, i fall in love and get out of love quite easily.Is not that I am not loyal of something it just that I learn to let go easily so I wouldnt get hurt so much, and please dont be wrong to assume that i am a playboy.I am definately mean it when I say I Love You.

ok lets start my romantic story that well known but unheard by many, back then I bump into this girl, a cute and petite girl i would say, we sort of met through school activities, she caught my eyes the first time I really see her. After our first meeting we sort of bump into each other few times after that, being in a small island I manage to get her contact, after that I sort of sms and call her regularly but as a friend of course.

For you guys info, she was a lesbian when I first knew her. Someone who seriously in love with her lesbian partner. Oh yea she was sort of attached with another girl at that time. After a few meetings and frequent communications between us, i guess there are some feelings grow within two of us.Not long after that she broke up with her 'BF'. I shall say our relationship blooms after that. Things go quite well between us until 1 day , the day that I couldnt forget till today.

She asked me to call back while I am still in a camp. I gave her a call back immediately during break time. She was sobbing when she answered the call, being someone who is totally in love with I ask her whats wrong, then she replied "Why do you have to lie to me ? why do you wanna be playboy ? why you didnt tell me you having a relationship with *** ? , why do you have to hurt me like that ?"
I was in total shocked and out of words , then I take a deep breath and answer her " When did I lie to you ? what happened ? what have I done ?" and she replied "You lie to me when you say you love me , why do you lie to me ?"
I said " Since when I lie to you ? I really love you " and tears begin to drop to my cheeks.
Then she said "People been telling me that you are in a relationship with *** and you are double timing me"
My reply was " I never lie to you and I really love you, you rather listen to rumours than to believe in me ?"
She said "I dont know who to trust anymore?" and she begin to cry
I replied "You can trust me, I really love you"
She said " Don't call me anymore, I don't wish to talk to you anymore, do not call me again" and then she hang up on me.
I was speechless and totally devastated. I try to call back a few times but my calls went unanswered.I was left alone and I shed tears at that time.

To cut my story short, our relationship went downhill from there. My explanations went awry, not long after that I heard that she went back together with her ex. Thats the stody then last time i shed my tears. Till today I still dont understand why she doesnt believe me, is it because I am not trustworthy or is it her heart never left that person and she uses this an excuse to make her feel better.

It is unknown mystery till today so it will be another unanswered questions in my life.
The reason I am writing this out is just simply for ranting and no other reason.

Labels: Relationship

posted by sir Simply saw {sSs} @ 12:18 PM